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Thoughts From Rebecca Kelsall

Dear Friends,

For those who may not know, today is “Shrove Tuesday” (from the Old English word “shriven” which means ‘absolved). Catholic people (more commonly in the past than the present) would go to the priest today, to be ‘absolved’ for their sins before the start of Lent on Ash Wednesday (tomorrow). The Lenten period is the 40-day period (minus Sundays) leading up to the Saturday before Easter.


In relation to all that I found this redemptively helpful and inspirational devotional entry in the CRU Lenten Devotional series for 2022, Day 7. It is titled, “Forgiven and Free” and was written by a CRU staff worker named Rebecca Kelsall. Enjoy.

“Lied to your parents. Lied to your friends. Gossiped. Cheated in school. Ditched class. Intentionally hurt someone else. Indulged in sexual sin…”

My cheeks burned pink. I was one of the hundred 15-year olds charged to confess my sins as part of a religious rite of passage. During this exercise, my confessor listed sins one-by-one while, with a nod or shake of the head, I either confirmed or denied my guilt. Though it was meant to make confession easier on our young souls, the drill made my heart beat fast and my stomach tighten as the list grew longer.


Growing up, I could relate to King David, who said, “I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me” (Psalm 51:3, NIV). I had a nagging sense of falling short. Sometimes, I was not sure why things I did were wrong, like when I messed up a ritual at church. But sometimes, I was keenly aware of my wrongdoing, like when I spoke spitefully to my brother, though I loved him dearly.

As I carried those moments with me, I wondered how to be better. I felt little relief after confession or ritual prayers meant to ease my guilt. Those moments grew into obsessions with my inadequacy and with becoming clean. And the obsessions grew into thoughts I couldn’t escape. I learned later that this was due, in part, to an anxiety disorder that went undetected for years. But even that revelation could not refute the truth that I had chosen to do sinful things which I could not undo.


Years later, I sat across from a friend who’d been determined to help me understand the love of God. I knew the story she shared about Jesus and the cross, but this time I snapped to attention. I stopped her and said, “Okay. I get it. Here’s what I don’t get. What do I have to do, and what do I have to avoid, to make sure God never stops loving me, to make sure I’m okay?”

She looked me in the eye, smiled, and said, “You never did anything to make God start loving you. You’ll never do anything to make Him stop.” Immediately, I said, “Wait ... what? Just like that?” My dear friend nodded, and I sat stunned, relieved in a way I’d never been before. Tears stung my eyes as I understood. That was why Jesus died: to show me that, in Him, my guilt can be forgiven once and for all, and that I really do belong to Him forever.


A weight lifted, and we both began to laugh. I was free. I could finally breathe. Later, I learned that I could walk in love rather than worry. Nothing can change what is true about me: I am forgiven and free, and I don’t have to carry the weight of those moments anymore.”

Her words express her journey into the wonderful discovery of God’s unearnable grace in Jesus. It’s a journey many people (myself included) found themselves on when trying to find relief from the guilt of sins they knew (all too well) they had committed. Some describe that sense of guilt as a heavy burden, an inner unsettledness, or a dark cloud that hangs over them. A burden which can (as she mentions) cause anxiety, deep inner regret, stress, and often sleepless nights. Yet, the discovery of the truth of the Gospel – that Christ came to provide the means for all our guilt to be forgiven through His sin-pardoning death – can bring freedom, relief, hope, and lead to an indescribable peace!


Yet, if we enter into Lent thinking that something we do, or take on, or give up, will make God love us more, we are defeated before we start. For NOTHING we could ever do has the ability to earn us even one iota more of God’s love than what Jesus secured for us through His substitutionary sacrifice on the cross! It can’t be done!

Can we do things that help us grow closer (from our side) to the God who loves us so? Yes, by all means. One of God’s blessed promises in Scripture explains what happens when we set aside time to spend with Him: “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8, ESV). Because we are often so distracted, or lured away by the things of the world, we find it hard to sense the deep love He has for us. So, time spent prioritizing and turning from needless or distracting things, to spend focused time alone with Jesus, can help break down the barriers we have put in place on our side. Barriers that make it difficult for us to know experientially the depths of the love He has for us, which is beyond human comprehension. Lent can be a time that reminds us to take the time to do that.



Living in His All-sufficient Grace, Pastor Jeff





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